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How do people Blog every day?

I just can't.
People move in to Peabody tomorrow, so be prepared!

Holiday Workers

Happy Fourth!

I hope you were having a barbecue in your back yard with friends and family enjoying the muggy buggy air and the fifteen minute firework display. I was on the boat.

Now, I don't mind working holidays, but I do mind when people are extremely rude to their servers. I don't make any extra money working holidays, so please don't put me through extra work, OK? I will bring you your drinks as I can, and you will say, 'Thank You,' not, 'Finally.'

Please understand that anytime a restaurant is busy back-up in the line ensues. Whether in the kitchen or at the bar, more people equals more wait. Now add holiday 'cheer' and you have people wanting twice as much as normal so there is extra back-up. Now add under staffing, bad inventorying, general confusion, and literal rocking of the boat, and God damn it your going to have to wait for your third cosmo. And with a smile I will deliver it and take your rude remark, and no tip.

This is the life of a holiday server. Next time you choose to dine out on the holidays remember that manners and patience are still common practice, and if yo9ur going to be a selfish prick at least have the decency to leave 20%.

Co-Worker Luncheon

"Hey Billy, my front desk man. Want to go grab a bite with some of us more important employees?"
"Why yes, you oh so important co-worker. I would love to walk to a pizza place and listen to you complain about how you haven't gotten laid for a couple weeks, and how your boss doesn't respect you."

Of course, this situation hasn't come up in my work place, but I'm sure you can understand it. We all pretend to be on big happy family in the office, but really we aren't. We only get to see what others tell us about themselves, so honestly, how do we know what's truth and what's bull? For all I know, my coworkers could all be part of an elaborate spider breeding cult that has plans to take over the world with millions of tiny militia bugs. However, I doubt it based on the intelligence level they exude.

No, we aren't friends. I don't spill out information to them, and they only brag if they feel threatened. So we all sit around, smiling, nodding, laughing, wondering when the stories will end, and that's OK because as we walk back from lunch we are full of pizza and fake camaraderie that keeps us all at a safe distance: our respective desks.

Returning Phone Calls

As I sit at my desk wondering why I expect a return phone call, I suddenly realize I expect one because I think it is the professional and courteous thing to do. Now this might be a wrong assumption of a new desk worker or simply something I've learned from movies, but for some reason, I actually believe it. I mean, why would I take the time to email you, then call, then leave a message, and then leave a message with your assistant, if I didn't expect some type of response. I guess that's just silly of me though. Or maybe you need more time. A week and a half is a short time I guess. The information I need is time sensitive, but you are busier than I, so I should just be patient, right?

And when I called today and found out you were in a meeting, I was overjoyed. For the first time since my attempted first contact, I had confirmation that you were alive and still working for the university. Ya know, maybe your still in that meeting. I mean that was only five hours ago I called. Five hour long meetings are pretty common in our line of work... And the answer to my question will be pretty time consuming. Yes or no questions take a lot of thought. So I fully understand your delay.

Communication has been so simplified for us that maybe you think you answered my question merely by thinking the answer. Maybe.

But probably not. No more likely is your lazy.

Front Desk Blues

I think there is a dichotomy in every work place between people who want to do only their jobs or less and those who want to constantly be working. I like to think I fall in the latter group, but I'm sure we all have moments in both groups. Today, I felt useless. I spent maybe two hours of my seven hour shift working. I tried to be semi-productive with the other 5 hours, but... it didn't go so well. List time!

What productive things did I do?
I proof read the new residence hall handbook, and made a few changes.
I gave the handbook to my bosses supervisor to proofread.
I searched/found more pictures to put in the handbook.
I set-up a possible online form for new student group registration.
I added one student's information into the housing database.

Semi-productive?
I took a lunch break.
I transferred one call.
I sent a mass email to incoming students.
I read some articles on Residence Assistance.
I got the mail.
I ordered my father's Father's Day presents (probably not considered productive according to my contract, but it was to me.)

Not productive?
I was on Facebook.
I was on Ebay.
I'm writing this blog.

I still have another hour to go. I guess I shouldn't complain... but now I have. I hope everyone working right now is having a more productive day than I.

Also, my feet hurt.

The Drunk

I'm sorry guys, I love the happy customer who just keeps getting happier with every glass; and I do love that your bill is quite large, but there needs to be a limit. So some pointers.

When there's more than one of me, you probably should stop.
When the boat is rocking, but we're docked, you probably should stop.
When you try to go behind the bar to 'help' the bartender, you probably should stop.
When you're wife shakes her head as you call me over, you probably should stop.
When your signature is in the middle of your check, you've gone too far.

I think you should have enough to relax and feel it, but if you try to engage me in a conversation with, "I'm juz a teacher, and Barak Obama said thaz the way iz gunna be. You know. So I'll have anuther these." I blink twice before agreeing to get you 'another these' but decide you were close to a thought, so I'll give you the benifit of the doubt.

Oh, and being drunk is not an excuse not to tip. Period.

The Passive Customer

I would like to preface this by saying there is also the passive employee. I don't feel I am one of them, but I understand that they exist. That is not what this post is about though... its about you, the passive customer.

So, you walk in, sit down, and I come over do my little shpeel and ask you what you'd like. If you are fine with water don't say you need a few minutes... say your fine with water. Then when I return to take orders, ask for more time if you need it, don't act like I'm rushing you. Then when I bring your plates or drinks to the table don't sigh like I'm interrupting the most important part of your story... I'm bringing you your food. And when I come to clear your plates, don't say, 'Fine,' like I'm forcing you to give up smoking. DON'T DO THESE THINGS.

As your waiter I want to provide you with whatever you like so let me know. I try to take cues, but if everything I do is sooooooo in your way then just let me know that you'll be getting everything for yourself and will bring it to the kitchen when your done. Please.

Oh, and maybe its just me, but I would rather you not tell me that I did a great job and then leave me no tip... thats just me.