The Drunk

I'm sorry guys, I love the happy customer who just keeps getting happier with every glass; and I do love that your bill is quite large, but there needs to be a limit. So some pointers.

When there's more than one of me, you probably should stop.
When the boat is rocking, but we're docked, you probably should stop.
When you try to go behind the bar to 'help' the bartender, you probably should stop.
When you're wife shakes her head as you call me over, you probably should stop.
When your signature is in the middle of your check, you've gone too far.

I think you should have enough to relax and feel it, but if you try to engage me in a conversation with, "I'm juz a teacher, and Barak Obama said thaz the way iz gunna be. You know. So I'll have anuther these." I blink twice before agreeing to get you 'another these' but decide you were close to a thought, so I'll give you the benifit of the doubt.

Oh, and being drunk is not an excuse not to tip. Period.